Family Care and Medical Management for Jehovahs Witnesses (1992)
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and Medical Management for Jehovah's Witnesses
©1992 WATCH TOWER BIBLE AND TRACT SOCIETY OF PENNSYLVANIA All rights reserved
Publishers WATCHTOWER BIBLE AND TRACT SOCIETY OF NEW YORK, INC. INTERNATIONAL BIBLE STUDENTS ASSOCIATION Brooklyn, New York, U.S.A.
Family Care and Medical Management for Jebovah's Witnesses English (f-e-E)
Made in the United States of America THE PURPOSE OF THIS HANDBOOK
Health care for children of Jehovah's Witnesses at times presents a challenge to the medical community. However, our refusal of blood transfusions, founded on deep religious convictions, does not make us antimedicine. On the contrary, Jehovah's Witnesses accept most medical treatments and surgical procedures available. We cherish health and love life. That is why we seek medical care for our families.
Physicians occasionally feel that a child's life or health will be seriously threatened if blood is not given. Most likely, treatment involving blood will conflict with the wishes of the Witness parents. Physicians and others may be inclined to take action to force a blood transfusion. However, before any decision is made in such a serious matter, certainly all the pertinent facts need to be considered.
Therefore, we are making this publication available to professionals (physicians, judges, social workers, and others) who may become involved in health-care decisions involving children of Jehovah's Witnesses.
This handbook will acquaint you with
Jehovah's Witnesses as a people noted for the love and care given to their children
* a worldwide network of Hospital Liaison Committees that assist families of Jehovah's Witnesses and the medical community to resolve problems that can arise pertaining to the use of blood
the standards of treatment and the most up-to-date medications and surgical procedures that experienced physicians are using to treat children when nonblood alternatives are requested
We are confident that this family care and medical management program will benefit our children, the parents, and the physicians in providing optimum care without violating our strong religious convictions.
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CONTENTS
NETWORKED SUPPORT SERVICES TO ASSIST PATIENTS
Local congregation elders Hospital Liaison Committees in 163 key cities (For the committee in your area, see last page of "Network" section) Worldwide support services at Watch Tower headquarters and in branches
EMERGENCY MANAGEMENT
Advance medical directive documents
Hospital protocol for treating
Jehovah's Witnesses
Medical emergencies—What to ask
BELIEFS OF JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES
Jehovah's Witnesses' religious position on medical therapy What Jehovah's Witnesses believe
FAMILY CARE
Good family life important to Jehovah's Witnesses (Selected articles from publications of Jehovah's Witnesses) CONTENTS
ETHICS/LEGAL
When physicians appeal to social services and judges for orders to transfuse children of Jehovah's Witnesses Allegations of medical neglect require careful examination of the facts Protection of children and respect for families Does a mature minor have the right to refuse a blood transfusion? Accommodating Jehovah's Witnesses' choice of nonblood management
MEDICAL RESEARCH
Alternatives—Strategies for avoiding and controlling hemorrhage and anemia without blood transfusion
Anemia (noncancerous)
Blood risks
Burns
Cancer
Hemophilia
Leukemia
Newborn (including premature)
Surgery
Trauma (including emergency, hemorrhage)
MEDICAL INDEX Word index for "Medical Research" section
NETWORKED SUPPORT SERVICES TO ASSIST PATIENTS WHO ARE JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES
EMERGENCY NOTICE
The names and telephone numbers of the members of the Hospital Liaison Committee for Jehovah's Witnesses in your area are shown on the last page of this section. In a medical emergency involving one of Jehovah's Witnesses, please get in touch with a member of this committee.
Local Congregation Elders: In all congregations of Jehovah's Witnesses, a body of elders functions to provide needed spiritual and emotional support to each member, each family, on a weekly basis. These elders know best the convictions of the Witness patient and can better communicate with the patient. This has often helped eliminate misunderstandings, thus facilitating application of acceptable treatment by physicians.
The Hospital Liaison Committee Network: These committees in all major cities are composed of trained and experienced professionals who act as a liaison between the doctor and the Witness patient at the patient's request. Their services are programmed to solve problems that arise when physicians feel blood is necessary. They support the family and the attending physician by locating doctors and medical teams experienced in nonblood management techniques. There are more than 25,000 physicians around the world (more than 12,000 in the United States alone) who are cooperating in utilizing such alternative medical strategies.
Hospital Liaison Committee members have extensive information on available alternatives to blood transfusion therapy. They maintain a file of up-to-date articles on nonblood management strategies from respected medical literature that can be made readily available to the attending physician. They may also assist in transferring a patient. The expanding network of more than 160 of these committees in the United States and Canada (more than 800 throughout the world) has already proved very useful to doctors and patients alike.
Hospital Information Desk: At most branches of the Watch Tower Society around the world (see title page), personnel are assigned to care for medical emergencies. They are equipped with a listing of cooperative physicians in their respective countries and a file of medical alternatives. Each branch is networked with other branches for expanding the available pool of cooperative physicians where necessary. Committee members also are ready to arrange for transfer of a patient from one hospital to another within the country or from one country to another where this may be required in unusual cases.
Hospital Information Services: This department at the international headquarters of Jehovah's Witnesses in Brooklyn, New York, coordinates the work of the Hospital Liaison Committees and branches in caring for medical emergencies. It researches a vast medical data base regularly in order to supply Hospital Liaison Committees, as well as cooperative doctors, risk managers, some hospital and medical associations, and others, with up-to-date information of the very latest in alternatives to donor blood, transfusion risks, new surgical techniques, and the latest in medications that assist in maintaining an adequate hematocrit and in controlling hemorrhage. To meet emergency situations, this department maintains an extensive data base of articles on medical alternatives to blood products and provides
an international fax service to Hospital Liaison Committees, individual doctors, hospitals, and social workers to give needed nonblood care for Witness patients.
We sincerely urge you to take full advantage of this reservoir of up-to-date medical information, the skilled services of the Hospital Liaison Committees, and other support services for providing the best medical care for Jehovah's Witnesses and their children. From our experience we are convinced these initiatives will greatly minimize negative confrontations and maximize positive cooperation between Jehovah's Witnesses and the dedicated members of the medical profession.
HOSPITAL LIAISON COMMITTEES NETWORK
163 KEY CITIES IN THE UNITED STATES AND CANADA 13,000 doctors for consultation/transfer
Medical centers offering bloodless medicine and surgery
On-line medical researchers (Medline)
Specialized abstracting service
(718) 625-3600 (718)596-2906(fax)
Emergency: Call nearest Hospital Liaison Committee for Jehovah's Witnesses. (See listing for your area on last page of this section. If unable to reach them, call above number [8:00 a.m.-5:00 p.m. EST] or [718] 624-8100 at other times.) UNITED STATES
Anchorage, AK
Davenport, IA
Buffalo, NY
Fairbanks, AK
Des Moines, IA
Nassan County, NY
Juneau, AK
Boise, ID
New York, NY
Birmingham, AL
Chicago, IL
Rochester, NY
Mobile, AL
Peoria, IL
Suffolk County, NY
Little Rock, AR
Indianapolis, IN
Syracuse, NY
Phoenix, AZ
Wichita, KS
Westchester County, NY
Tucson, AZ
Lexington, KY
Akron/Canton, OH
Bakersfield, CA
Louisville, KY
Cincinnati, OH
Fresno, CA
Baton Rouge, LA
Cleveland, OH
Los Angeles, CA
New Orleans, LA
Columbus, OH
Oakland, CA
Shreveport, LA
Dayton, OH
Riverside, CA
Boston, MA
Toledo, OH
Sacramento, CA
Springfield, MA
Oklahoma City, OK
San Diego, CA
Worcester, MA
Tulsa, OK
San Francisco, CA
Baltimore, MD
Medford, OR
San Jose, CA
Portland, ME
Portland, OR
Stockton, CA
Detroit, MI
Allentown, PA
Colorado Springs, CO
Flint, MI
Harrisburg, PA
Denver, CO
Grand Rapids, MI
Philadelphia, PA
Hartford, CT
Saginaw, MI
Pittsburgh, PA
New Haven, CT
Minneapolis/St. Paul, MN
Arecibo, PR
Washington, DC
Kansas City, MO
Mayagüez, PR
Wilmington, DE
St. Louis, MO
Ponce, PR
Ft. Myers, FL
Springfield, MO
San Juan, PR
Jacksonville, FL
Jackson, MS
Providence, RI
Miami, FL
Billings, MT
Charleston, SC
Orlando, FL
Charlotte, NC
Columbia, SC
Palm Beach, FL
Greensboro, NC
Greenville/Spartanburg, SC
Tampa/St. Petersburg, FL
Raleigh/Durham, NC
Sioux Falls, SD
Atlanta, GA
Fargo, ND
Chattanooga, TN
Augusta, GA
Omaha, NE
Knoxville, TN
Savannah, GA
Manchester, NH
Memphis, TN
Hawaii(East), HI
Newark, NJ
Nashville, TN
Hawaii(West), HI
Paterson, NJ
Amarillo, TX
Kauai, HI
Albuquerque, NM
Austin, TX
Maui, HI
Las Vegas, NV
Beaumont, TX
Oahu, HI
Albany, NY
Corpus Christi, TX
Dallas, TX
El Paso, TX
Ft. Worth, TX
Hulingen, TX
Houston, TX
Lubbock, TX
San Antonio, TX
Salt Lake City, UT
Norfolk, VA
Richmond, VA
Virgin Islands
Seattle, WA
Spokane, WA
Tacoma, WA
Madison, WI
Milwaukee, WI
Charleston, WV
CANADA
Thunder Bay, Ont.
Toronto, Ont.
Windsor, Ont.
Charlottetown, P.E.I.
Montreal, Que.
Quebec City, Que.
Sherbrooke, Que.
Regina, Sask.
Saskatoon, Sask.
Whitehorse, YT
MEDICAL DOCUMENT/IDENTITY CARD FOR JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES
Allergies: ___
Current medication:___
Medical problems:___
MEDICAL DIRECTIVE (signed document inside)
NO BLOOD
IN CASE OF EMERGENCY PLEASE CONTACT:
Name: ___
Telephone:___
Address:___
ALTERNATE CONTACT:
Name: ___
Telephone:___
Address:___
Open to signed document
IDENTITY CARD
Child's Name
Parents:___
Address
Telephone
IMPORTANT MEDICAL INFORMATION ON OTHER SIDE
(For reverse side of these documents, see other side of this page.)
EMERGENCY 3 (Reverse side)
ADVANCE MEDICAL DIRECTIVE/RELEASE
make this
advance directive as a formal statement of my wishes. These instructions reflect my resolute decision.
I direct that no blood transfusions (whole blood, red cells, white cells, platelets, or blood plasma) be given to me under any circumstances, even if physicians deem such necessary to preserve my life or health. I will accept nonblood volume expanders (such as dextran, saline or Ringer's solution, or hematash) and other nonblood management.
This legal directive is an exercise of my right to accept or to refuse medical treatment in accord with my deeply held values and convictions. I am one of Jehovah's Witnesses, and I make this directive out of obedience to commands in the Bible, such as: "Keep abasuring . . . from blood." (Acts 15:28, 29) This is, and has been, my unawarring religious stand for years. I am my young old.
I also know that there are various dangers associated with blood transfusions. So I have decided to avoid such dangers and, instead, to
accept whatever risks may seem to be involved in my choice of alternative nonblood management.
I release physicians, anesthesiologists, and hospitals and their personnel from liability for any damages that might be caused by my refusal of blood, despite their otherwise competent care.
I authorize the person(s) named on the reverse to see that my instructions set forth in this directive are upheld and to answer any questions about my absolute refusal of blood.
Signature
Address
Date
Telephone
Witness
Fortulis USA
Witness
(Reverse side)
As parents we are deeply interested in the welfare of our child
Because of our family's convictions as Jehovah's Witnesses we do not accept blood transfusions. We do accept non-blood expanders and other medical treatment. In case of accident, please contact us immediately. We likely can provide information as to physicians who respect our religious convictions and may already have provided medical care for us.
Signature
Date
Signature
Date
Printed in U.S.A.
HOSPITAL PROTOCOL FOR TREATING JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES
REVIEW nonblood medical alternatives, and treat the patient without using homologous blood.
CONSULT with other doctors experienced in nonblood alternative management at same facility, and treat without using homologous blood.
CONTACT local Hospital Liaison Committee of Jehovah's Witnesses to locate cooperative doctors at other facilities for consultation on alternative care.
TRANSFER patient, if necessary, to cooperative doctor or facility before patient's condition deteriorates.
IN A RARE SITUATION, if court advice is deemed necessary, the patient, the parents, or the guardian should be notified as soon as possible of such intended action. This will allow for due process of law and for the court to hear both sides so as to weigh all factors in reaching a decision, including alternative medical nonblood management of the case.
MEDICAL EMERGENCIES WHAT TO ASK
What are the basic symptoms and dangers of the disease or problem?
Is the proposed treatment essential medical care or experimental? Would a second, independent opinion be beneficial?
What are the risks associated with the doctor's proposed treatment, including the risks of giving a blood transfusion?
What alternatives to giving blood has the doctor explored? Why does the doctor feel a blood transfusion is necessary in this case? (Knowing this will help focus on the alternatives that have proved effective.)
Is the doctor willing to consult the medical literature on nonblood treatment?
Is the doctor willing to consult with other doctors who have successfully treated Jehovah's Witnesses without the use of blood?
Is the doctor willing to yield to another medical team who will take over medical care of the patient?
See corresponding numbers on flowchart "Medical Emergencies—What to Do" (following page). See also "Hospital Protocol for Treating Jehovah's Witnesses."
MEDICAL EMERGENCIES WHAT TO DO
JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES' RELIGIOUS POSITION ON MEDICAL THERAPY
Jehovah's Witnesses avail themselves of the various medical skills to assist them with their health problems. They do not adhere to so-called faith healing and are certainly not opposed to the practice of medicine. They love life and want to do whatever is reasonable and Scriptural to prolong it. (For a detailed discussion of the following subjects, see the Watch Tower publications cited.)
ABORTION
Deliberately induced abortion simply to avoid the birth of an unwanted child is the willful taking of human life. If (at the time of childbirth) a choice must be made between the life of the mother and that of the child, it is up to the individuals concerned to make that decision.—Reasoning From the Scriptures, pp. 25-6.
AUTOTRANSFUSION
Autotransfusion is acceptable to many of Jehovah's Witnesses (this being a matter of conscience) when the equipment is arranged in a closed circuit that is constantly linked to the patient's circulatory system and there is no storage of the patient's blood. Jehovah's Witnesses do not accept preoperative collection, storage, and later reinfusion of blood.-The Watchtower, March 1, 1989, pp. 30-1; How Can Blood Save Your Life?, pp. 13-15.
BLOOD TRANSFUSIONS
Jehovah's Witnesses have definite objections to blood transfusions for both religious and medical reasons. They are deeply religious people who believe that blood transfusion is forbidden by Biblical commands such as: "Only flesh with its soul—its blood—you must not eat" (Genesis 9:3, 4), "[You must] pour its blood out and cover it with dust" (Leviticus 17:13, 14), and, "Keep abstaining from .
. . blood and from things strangled and from fornication." (Acts 15:28, 29)—The Watchtower, June 1, 1990, pp. 30-1; How Can Blood Save Your Life?, pp. 4-6; Reasoning From the Scriptures, pp. 70-3.
While these verses of the Bible are not stated in medical terms, Witnesses view them as ruling out transfusion of whole blood, packed red blood cells, and plasma, as well as white blood cells and platelet administration. However, Witnesses' religious understanding does not absolutely prohibit the use of components such as albumin, immune globulins, and hemophiliac preparations; each Witness must decide individually whether he will accept these. The Watchtower, June 1, 1990, pp. 30-1; The Journal of the American Medical Association (JAMA), November 27, 1981, Vol. 246, No. 21, p. 2471.
HEART BYPASS
Some Witness patients permit the use of a heart-lung machine when the pump is primed with nonblood fluids and blood is not stored in the process. The Watchtower, March 1, 1989, pp. 30-1; How Can Blood Save Your Life?, p. 15.
HEMODIALYSIS
Hemodialysis is a matter for each Witness patient to decide conscientiously if a closed circuit is employed, if no blood prime is used, and if there is no blood storage. The Watchtower, March 1, 1989, pp. 30-1.
HEMODILUTION
Induced hemodilution is a matter for the Witness patient to decide according to his conscience when a closed circuit is used and no blood storage is involved. Jehovah's Witnesses do not accept preoperative collection and storage of blood and its later transfusion. The Watchtower, March 1, 1989, pp. 30-1; How Can Blood Save Your Life?, pp. 3-5, 15.
ORGAN TRANSPLANT
While the Bible forbids consuming blood, there is no Biblical command specifically forbidding the taking in of other human tissue or bone. For this reason, each individual faced with making a decision on this matter should carefully and prayerfully weigh matters and then decide conscientiously what to do before God. It is a matter for personal decision.—The Watchtower, March 15, 1980, p. 31; How Can Blood Save Your Life?, p. 28.
SERUMS
Serums are not forbidden; however, an individual Witness may still conscientiously refuse them. The same applies to albumin as a minor component of blood. The Watchtower, June 1, 1990, pp. 30-1.
VOLUME EXPANDERS
Nonblood expanders are acceptable to Witness patients. (See Advance Medical Directive/Release.)—Reasoning From the Scriptures, pp. 73-4.
Reprinted from Jebovah's Witnesses in the Twentieth Century, page 13
<tr><th>BELIEF
SCRIPTURAL REASON
BELIEF
SCRIPTURAL REASON
Bible is God's Word and is truth
2 Tim. 3:16; 17; 2 Pet. 12:20; 21; John 17:17
Adamic death will cease
1 Cor. 15:26; Rev. 21:4; Isa. 25:8; 1 Cor. 15:54
Bible is more reliable than tradition
Ps. 83:18; Isa. 26:4; 42:26; Ajs. 63
Only a little flock of 144,000 go to heaven and rule with Christ
Luke 12:32; Rev. 14:1; 1:3; Cor. 15:40-53; Rev. 5:9, 10
God's name is Jebah
Ps. 83:18; Isa. 26:4; 42:26; Ajs. 63
The 144,000 are born again as spiritual sons of God
John 3:3; Rev. 7:3, 4
Christ is God's Son and is inferior to him
John 8:42; 14:28; 20:17; 1 Cor. 11:35; 15:28
New covenant made with spiritual Israel
John 14:6, 13, 14; 1 Tim. 2:5
Christ was first of God's creations
Col. 1:15; Rev. 3:14
Christ's congregation is built upon himself
John 14:6, 13, 14; 1 Tim. 2:5
Christ died on a stake, not a cross
Gal. 3:13; Acts 5:30
Prayers must be directed only to Jesus through Christ
John 14:6, 13, 14; 1 Tim. 2:5
Christ's human life was paid as a ransom for obedient humans
Matt. 29:28; 1 Tim. 2; 5, 6; Titus 2:14; 1 Pet. 2:24
Images must not be used in worship
Ex. 20:4, 5; Lev. 26:1; 1 Cor. 10:14; Pa. 115:46
Christ's one sacrifice was sufficient
Rom. 6:10; Heb. 9:25-28
Spiritism must be shunned
Deut. 18:10; 18:24; John 15:9; Lev. 19:31
Christ was raised from the dead as an immoral spirit person
1 Pet. 3:18; Rom. 6:9; 19:17, 18
Satan is invisible for world
1 John 5:18; 2 Cor. 4:4; John 12:31
Christ's presence is in spirit
Rom. 26:23; 2 Cor. 5:16; Pa. 110:1, 2
A Christian must have no part in interfaith movements
2 Cor. 6:14; 17:11; 13:15; Gal. 5:9; Deut. 7:1-5
Kingdom under Christ will rule earth in righteousness and peace
Isa. 9:6; 7:11-15; Dan. 7:13; 14; Matt. 6:10
A Christian must keep separate from world
Jn. 4:4; John 2:15; John 15:19; 17:16
Kingdom brings ideal living conditions to earth
7:21-4; Rev. 7:9, 10:13-17; 21:3, 4
All human laws that do not conflict with God's laws should be obeyed
Matt. 22:20; 21; 1 Pet. 2:12; 4:15
Earth will never be destroyed or depopulated
Ecel. 1:14; Ajs. 45:18; Ps. 78:69
Taking blood into body through mouth or veins violates God's laws
Gen. 9:3; 4; Lev. 17:14; 15:28, 29
God will destroy present system of things in the battle at Har-Magdode
16:14, 16; Zeph. 39; Dan. 24:4; Isa. 34:2
Bible's laws on monals must be obeyed
1 Cor. 6:9; 10; Heb. 13:4; 1 Tim. 2:5
Wicked will be eternally destroyed
25:41-46; 2 Thess. 1:5-9
Sabbath observance was given to the Jews and ended with Mosaic Law
Deut. 5:15; Ex. 31:13; Rom. 10:44; Gal. 4:1; 9:10; Col. 2:16, 17
People God will approve to receive eternal life
16:14; 16; Zeph. 39; Dan. 24:4; Isa. 34:2
A clergy class and special titles are improper
Matt. 23:8; 12:20; 25:27; Job 32:21, 22
There is only one road to life
Matt. 7:13; 14; Eph. 4:5
Man did notvolve but was created
Asia 4:12; Gen. 12:7
We are now in the 'time of the human death' due to Adam's sin
24:13-4; 2 Tim. 3:15; Luke 17:26-30
Christ set example that must be followed in serving God
1 Pet. 2:21; Heb. 10:7; John 4:34; 6:38
The human soul ceases to exist at death
Rom. 5:12; 6:23
Baptism by complete immersion symbolizes defection
John 3:23; Acts 19:4, 5
Hulk is mankind's common grave
18:54; 18:6; Bael. 9:10; Ps. 6:5; 14:6; John 11:11-14
Christus give public testimony to Scriptural truth
Rom. 10:10; Heb. 13:15; Isa. 4:10-12
Hope for death is resurrection
Job 14:13; Dy. Rev. 20:13, 14, 4V (margin)
1 Cor. 15:20-22; John 5:28, 29; 11:25, 26
SELECTED ARTICLES FROM PUBLICATIONS OF JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES
The family unit is very important to Jehovah's Witnesses. Witness parents love their children and want them to grow up to enjoy productive and meaningful lives. A comprehensive educational program is conducted in each congregation to help families develop such desirable values as honesty, morality, integrity, and dependability. The Bible shows this is necessary to please God. The Bible also requires abstinence from blood. (Acts 15:28, 29) Witness parents seek medical care for themselves and their children and ask physicians to use alternatives to blood.
Keeping God's approval and having a good conscience are very important to Jehovah's Witnesses, religiously and psychologically, and they ask that others respect these sincere aspirations. Witness parents believe God's promise that those who are obedient to him have the hope of everlasting life on our earth restored to a paradise. They want this inheritance for their children also.—2 Peter 3:13; Revelation 21:1-4.
In this section of Family Care, we invite you to examine a sampling of articles (titles below) specially prepared for use in family education.
"Families—Draw Close Before It's Too Late"
"Love at First Sight—And Forever After!"
"Raising Families Worldwide—Parenting With Love, Discipline,
Example, and Spiritual Values"
(Reprinted from Awake!, September 22, 1991)
"What Children Need From Parents"
"Parents Who Have Done Their Homework"
"What Else Can Parents Do?"
(Reprinted from Awake!, September 8, 1988)
"How to Strengthen Family Bonds" (Reprinted from The Watchtower, April 1, 1988)
"Family Problems Solved by Bible Counsel" (Reprinted from The Watchblower, November 1, 1986)
"Safeguarding Your Children From Misuse of Blood" (Reprinted from Our Kingdom Ministry, September 1992)
(Articles appear in the order listed)
Families Draw Close Before It's Too Late
"Family is the oldest human institution. In many ways it is the most important. It is society's most basic unit. Entire civilizations have survived or disappeared, depending on whether family life was strong or weak." —The World Book Encyclopedia (1973 Edition)
THE family unit is an umbrella of protection for children. In many places today, that umbrella is full of holes; in many other places, it's being closed and stuck in the closet. The traditional family is frequently sidetracked as outmoded. Television comedies often portray fathers as minnies, mothers as smarter, but children best.
Marital infidelity is commonplace. In some industrialized countries, one of every two first marriages ends in divorce. As divorces escalate, single families proliferate. In increasing numbers, two become one without benefit of marriage. Hormonesex seeks to dignify their relation with marital vows. Sex, normal and abnormal, takes center stage in movies and videos. Schools view chastity as impractical and pass out condoms to make fornication safe—which they don't. Sexually transmitted diseases and teenage pregnancies skyroot. Babies are the victims—if they are allowed to come to birth. With the demise of the traditional family, children are the primary losers.
Years ago, Nobel prize winner Alexis Carrel, in his book Man, the Unknown, sounded this warning: "Modern society has committed a serious mistake by entirely substituting the school for the familial training. The mothers abandon their children to the kindergarten [sooner than, with day care and preschool] in order to attend to their careers, their social ambitions, their sexual pleasures, their life
erary or artistic fancies, or simply to play bridge, go to the cinema, and waste their time in busy idleness. They are, thus, responsible for the disappearance of the familial group where the child was kept in contact with adults and learned a great deal from them. In order to reach his full strength, the individual requires the relative isolation and the attention of the restricted social group consisting of the family." -Page 176.
More recently, comedian Steve Allen commented on television's assault on the family, with its preoccupation with foul language and sexual immorality. He said: "The flow is carrying us all right into the sewer. The very sort of language parents forbid their children to use is now being encouraged not only by anything-goes cable entrepreneurs, but the once high-minded networks. Shows that depict children and others using vulgar language only point up the collapse of the American family."
What legacy is society now leaving to its children? Read the papers, watch television, note the videos, tune in the evening news, listen to the rap music, see the adult examples everywhere around you. Children are glutted on mental and emotional junk food. "If you want to destroy a country," former British education secretary Sir Keith Joseph said, "you debauch its currency." And he added: "The way to destroy a society is to debauch the children."
"Debauch," according to Webster's means "to lead away from virtue or excellence." That is being done with a vengeance today. Much is said about juvenile delinquency; more should be said about adult delinquency.
They Will Come Back to Haunt Us
Geneva B. Johnson, president and chief executive officer of Family Service America, said in a lecture delivered earlier this year: "The family is deeply, perhaps fatally, ill." "Calling it a "grim picture for many of our children," she then said forebodingly: "The willingness of the nation to relegate so many of our poorly housed, poorly fed, poorly treated medically, and poorly educated children to the role of outcasts in a rich society is going to come back to haunt us." I is already coming back to haunt us. You can read about it in the newspapers, hear about it on the newscasts, and see it on your television set. Here is a small sampling:
Judone pulls out a gun and shoos Jermaine three times in the chest. Jermaine is dead; he was 15. Judone is 14. They had been best friends. They argued over a girl.
One hundred people gather at the funeral of 16-year-old Michael Hillard. He was shot in the back of the head as he walked away from an argument at a basketball game.
In Brooklyn, New York, three teenagers set fire to a homeless couple. When rubbing alcohol didn't work, they tried gasoline. It worked.
In Florida a five-year-old pushed a toddler to his death from a fifth-floor stairwell.
In Texas a ten-year-old took a gun and shot his playmate and stuffed his body under the house.
In Georgia a 15-year-old boy stabbed his principal while being disciplined.
In New York City, a gang in the late teens and early 20's, armed with bats, pipes, axes, knives, and a meat cleaver, went "wilding" near a settlement of homeless men, injuring many and leaving one with his throat slashed. Motive? One investigator explained: "They were getting their jolls attacking the homeless."
In Detroit, Michigan, an 11-year-old boy joined a 15-year-old in raping a 2-year-old girl. They allegedly left their victim in a garbage Dumpster.
In Cleveland, Ohio, four boys ages six to nine napped a nine-year-old girl at an elementary school. Commenting on this, columnist Brent Larkin, writing in the Cleveland Plain Dealer, said: "It speaks volumes about what's happening in this country, about how our value systems are headed straight for the sewer."
Dr. Leslie Fisher, a professor of psychology at Cleveland State University, blamed television. He called it "a big sex machine," "kids 8 and 9 years old are watching these things." He also blamed parents for the deterioration of the American family: "Mommy and daddy are too involved in their own problems and can't take the time to tend their children."
Awake! September 22,1991 Garbage In, Garbage Out
Various elements in society, especially the media, entertainers, and the entertainment industry—elements that profit by pandering to the worst in humanity—disgorge sex and violence and corruption and thereby contribute heavily to the degradation of the young and the family. So the rule goes into operation: Sow rot, reap rot. Garbage in, garbage out. The chickens are coming home to roost—and the homecoming is horrendous.
Is society breeding a generation of children without conscience? The question was raised after the notorious "wilding" spree in New York's Central Park where a 28-year-old woman was beaten and raped and left for dead by a rowing gang of teenagers. Police said they were "smug and remorseless" and when arrested "joked and rapped and sang." They
gave reasons for doing it: "It was fun." "We were bored," "It was something to do." Time magazine called them "psychic amputees" who had "lost, perhaps never developed, that psychic appendage we call conscience."
U.S. News & World Report urged: "This nation must act to avoid another generation of the children without conscience." Dr. Ken Magid, a prominent psychologist, and Carole McKelvey highlight that very danger in their explosive book High Risk: Children Without a Conscience. Case histories and testimony from many psychologists and psychiatrists give overwhelming support to Magid's contention: The root cause is a failure of strong bonding between parent and child at birth and in the formative years that follow.
Surely, families must draw close during those formative years before it's too late!
Love at First Sight And Forever After!
IF YOU watch babies after they are born," notes Dr. Cecilia McCarton, of the Albert Einstein College of Medicine in New York, "they are exquisitely awake and turned into their environment.
They are responsive to their mothers. They turn toward sounds. And they fixate on their mother's face." And the mother makes eye contact with her baby. It's love at first sight—for both of them!
Awakel September 22,1991 This moment of bonding between mother and baby happens naturally if the birth is natural, without drugs that dull the senses of mother and baby.
His cries stimulate her production of milk. The touch of his skin against hers releases a hormone that reduces her postdelivery bleeding. The child is born with brain programs to ensure attachment—crying, sucking, babblings and gurgling, smiling and estatic kicking to entice mother's attentions. Attachment, to the mother primarily, makes it possible for the infant to develop a sense of love and caring and trust. The father quickly becomes important as an attachment figure. His relations lack the intimacy of the mother's but add an important dimension: poking, tickling, gentle roughhousing, which the baby responds to with excited laughter and wigglings.
Dr. Richard Restak reports that for the newborn to be held and cuddled is like a nutrient. "Touch," he says, "is as necessary to normal infant development as food and oxygen. Mother opens her arms to the infant, snuggles him, and a host of psychobiological processes are brought into harmony." Under this treatment even the physical brain develops "a different physiognomy of bumps and crevices."
Guard Against Detachment
Some have indicated that if this attachment between mother and baby does not take place at the time of birth, tragedy lies ahead. Not so. With love of mothering there are hundreds of intimate moments in the weeks that follow that make bonding secure. Denial of such intimacies over a longer period of time, however, can lead to dire consequences. "Although we all need one another throughout our lives," Dr. Restak tells us, "that needing is most acute in the first year. Deprive a baby of light, the opportunity to gaze at a human face, the delight of being picked up, cuddled,
cooed at, fussed over, touched—and the infant doesn't abide such deprivations."
Babies cry for many reasons. Usually they want attention. If their cries are not responded to after a time, they may stop. They feel that their care-giver is not responding. They cry again. If still no response, they feel neglected, insecure. They try harder. If this goes on for a longer time and if it is repeated frequently, the baby feels abandoned. It is first angry, even enraged, and finally it gives up. Detachment occurs. Not receiving love, it does not learn to love. Conscience is undeveloped. It trusts no one, cares for no one. It becomes a problem child, and in extreme cases, a psychopathic personality incapable of feeling remorse for criminal acts.
Love at first sight is not the end of it. It must continue forever after. Not just in words nor in deeds. "Let us love, neither in word nor with the tongue, in beed and truth." (1 John 3:18) Lots of hugs and kisses. Early on, before it's too late, teach and instruct in the true values of God's Word, the Bible. Then it will be with your children as it was with Timothy: "From infancy you have known the holy writings, which are able to make you wise." (2 Timothy 3:15) Daily spend time with them, throughout childhood and the teen years. "These words that I am commanding you today must prove to be on your heart; and you must inculcate them in your son and speak of them when you sit in your house and when you walk on the road and when you lie down and when you get up." —Deuteronomy 6:6, 7.
'We May Cry, but It's for the Best'
Discipline is a touchy subject for many. When properly administered, however, it is an essential part of parental love. One little girl recognized this. She made a card for her mother, addressed "To Ma, to A nice Lady." It was decorated with crayon drawings of a golden
FAMILY 8 A close bond with the mother helps the baby to develop emotionally
sun, flying birds, and red flowers. The card read: "This is for you because we love you. we want you to show our appreciation by making a card. When we have low marks you sign our paper. When we're bad you smack us. We may cry, but we know it's for the best . . . All I want to say is that I love you very, very much. Thanks for all you do for me. Love and kisses. [Signed] Michele."
Michele agrees with Proverbs 13:24: "The one holding back his rod is hating his son, but the one loving him is he that does look for him with discipline." Use of the rod, representing authority, may involve a spanking, but many times it does not. Different children, different misbehaviors, call for different disciplining. A rebuke kindly give may suffice; stubbornness may require stronger medicine: "A rebuke works deeper in one having understanding than striking a stupid one a hundred times." (Proverbs 17:10) Also applicable: "A servant [or, a child] will not let himself be corrected by mere words, for he understands but he is paying no heed." — Proverbs 29:19.
In the Bible the word "discipline" means to instruct, train, chasten—including spanking if it takes that to correct behavior. Hebrews 12:11 shows its purpose: "True, no discipline seems for the present to be joyous, but grievous; yet after to those who have been
trained by it it yields peaceable fruit, namely, righteousness.' Parents are not to be overly harsh in their disciplining: "You fathers, do not be exasperating your children, so that they do not become downhearted." (Coslossians 3:21) Neither are they to be overly permissive: "The rod and reproof are what give wisdom; but a boy let on the loose will be causing his mother shame." (Proverbs 29:15) Permissiveness says, "Do as you like; don't bother me.' Discipline says, 'Do what is right; I care about you.'
U.S.News & World Report, August 7, 1989, rightly said: "Parents who are not harshly punitive, but who set firm boundaries and stick to them, are significantly more likely to produce children who are high achievers and who get along well with others." In its
conclusion the article stated: "Perhaps the most striking theme to emerge from all the scientific data is that establishing a pattern of love and trust and acceptable limits within each family is what really counts, and not lots of technical details. The true aim of discipline, a word that has the same Latin root as discipline, is not to punish unruly children but to teach and guide them and help instill inner controls."
They Hear What You Say, They Copy What You Do
An article on discipline in The Atlantic Monthly was introduced with this statement:
Father's time with the child is also vital
"A child can be expected to behave well only if his parents live by the values they teach." The article proceeded to show the value of inner controls: "Teenagers who behaved well tended to have parents who were themselves responsible, upright, and self-disciplined—who lived in accord with the values they professed and encouraged their children to follow suit. When the good teenagers were exposed, as a part of the investigation, to problem teenagers, their behavior was not permanently affected. They had far too securely internalized their parents' values." It proved to be as the proverb says:
"Train up a boy according to the way for him; even when he grows old he will not turn aside from it." — Proverbs 22:6.
Parents who tried to instill true values in their children, but which they themselves did not follow, had no success. Their children "had not been able to internalize those values." The study proved that "what made the difference was how closely the parents lived by the values that they tried to teach their children."
It proves to be as author James Baldwin said: "Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them." If you love your children and you want to teach them the true values, use the best method of all.
You be the example of your own teachings. Do not be like the scribes and the Pharisees that Jesus condemned as hypocrites: "Therefore all the things they tell you, do and observe, but do not do according to their deeds, for they say but do not perform." (Matthew 23:3) Or like the ones the apostle Paul questioned accusingly: "Do you, however, the one teaching
someone else, not teach yourself? You, the one preaching 'Do not steal,' do you steal?' —Romans 2:21
Today many dismiss the Bible as outmoded and its guidelines as impractical. Jesus challenges that position with these words: "All the same, wisdom is proved righteous by all its children." (Luke 7:35) The following accounts by families from many countries prove his words true.
RAISING FAMILIES WORLDWIDE Parenting With Love, Discipline Example, and Spiritual Values
PARENTS on their successful rearing of children from babyhood through the teen years. All of them are Jehovah's Witnesses, and therefore their reports stress the need for attention in the four areas listed in the title above. The excerpts reproduced here reflect only a few different aspects of the family training they followed.
From Hawaii
"As the Bible tells us, love is the 'greatest' quality. Love in all its precious facets must radiate throughout the home and family. Carol and I have shared this divine quality in our marriage. We are close. We like to be together. I cannot overemphasize my belief that the major key to successful child-rearing is a happily married couple.
"I remember to this day the powerful feelings that welled up in my heart during the days and weeks after
Young children like Rebecca need genuine affection
Taking the time to do things together will contribute to a strong family bond
our first child was born. There was wonder over the beginning of a new living creature. I remember seeing Carol so happy and contented while nursing baby Rachel. I was happy for her, but I also felt a little resentment, a tinge of jealousy. Carol was bonding with Rachel, but where was I? I felt as if I had been pushed—ever so gently but nevertheless pushed—outside our family center. With Jetho's help I was able to express my feelings and concern to Carol, and she showed me much sympathy and support.
"Thereafter I was able to get closer to our new baby by helping with all the baby chores, including some of the disagreeable ones —washing a soiled diaper is a unique experience, to say the least! We've had five more children after Rachel. Rebecca is the last one, now eight years old. We've conducted personal, individual Bible studies with each one of our children.
"One more thing about the early childrearing. Carol and I enjoyed talking with our babies from the time they were born. We
10 talked about all manner of things.
Sometimes we talked about Jehovah and his beautiful, woodrow works. Sometimes we talked about silly, playful, funny things. Of course, we were trying to teach them something, but more than that we were just having a pleasant, relaxed, innocent time together. I believe such talks contributed a great deal to parent-child bonding. No doubt they helped to create the good communication that we have had in our family.
"Jehovah has taught us the greater value of spiritual things, of giving of ourselves. Carol and I have never had an abundance of material things, but we've never really sought them or missed them. If we had spent more of our time slaving for riches, we would not have had enough time to devote to Jehovah and our family. We made the right choice." (Carol's comments follow.)
"I think nursing your babies helps greatly in the bonding of babies to their mothers. You spend so much time cuddling and carrying your baby that you can't help getting close. The mother can never leave the baby's side for more than two to four hours. Ed and I have always been very strict about not leaving our children with sisters. I always wanted to be able to teach my babies and watch them as they grew up. So during the time that they were little, I did not hold an outside job. I think this helped them realize how important they were to us. The main way to get close to your children is to spend time with them. Nothing takes the place of your being there physically. All the material things will not take the place of you.
"The teen years were difficult only because I had to adjust to the baby's growing up. It was very hard to take, to realize that they didn't need me as much and were becoming independent. It is a scary time, and it tests all your work of teaching, disciplining, and
molding that you have done. It is really too late to start when they are teenagers. Too late to try then to teach them morals, a love for mankind, and especially a love for Jehovah. These things must be inculcated from birth on.
"You have 12 years to get your work done before those critical teen years. But if you have worked hard to apply Bible principles, it is time to reap joy and peace when they decide they want to serve Jehovah from the heart." - Edward and Carol Owens.
From Zimbabwe
"Children are 'an inheritance from Jehovah.' So says the Bible at 127:3. Bearing this in mind has helped us as parents to do all we could in caring for this inheritance. One of the primary efforts in our family was to do things together—pray together, study the Bible together, worship together, work together, visit friends together, play together.
"Discipline was needed at times. One time our son, in his early teens, was late getting home. We were worried. He was evasive. We sensed that something was wrong, but we decided to shelve the matter until the next morning. Around midnight we heard a knock on our bedroom door. It was our son, with tears in his eyes.
"Father, Mother, I have not been able to sleep for the last four hours, all because I did not listen when you counseled me from the Bible about bad association. After school today some of the kids pressured me into going swimming with them, and one of the boys pulled me under the water. If another boy had not helped me, I would have drowned. They laughed at me and called me a coward. I came straight home, but I stayed outside the house because I felt guilty. I'm sorry I didn't listen to you when you warned me about bad associations, as shown in the Bible."—I Corinthians 1533.
"He wept and so did we. We were pleased that he had learned a lesson, but we disciplined him to make a deeper impression. Exodus 34:6, 7 shows that Jehovah is merciful and pardons error, but still "by no means will he give exemption from punishment." — David and Mutty Mugfuurirau.
From Brazil
"I am a widow and have to raise my boy by myself. At the same time, I work as a teacher. It is not easy to instruct and discipline children. What is needed is coherent instruction, balanced discipline, and a good example on the part of the parents. It was hard for me to be firm and at the same time sympathetic. I had to develop the art of listening, especially listening with my heart. It is important to communicate, not just talk, but get the child involved, make him respond emotionally. I tried to make him feel a part of the family by getting him involved in the family budget. When the light bill or the water bill arrived, or the price of clothes or shoes went up, we discussed these matters together.
"It is important to command with sincerity for things well done. As opportunities arose, I would show him the value of following God's laws and principles. On one occasion, after having counseled him several times, I had to use the literal rod. How difficult it was for me, but, oh, what blessed results! In the adolescent phase we have our ups and downs, but we can see the value of instruction and discipline. He tells me his personal problems and expresses his sentiments.
"I have to stay alert to maintain good communication. So I try not to get too involved in my secular work in order always to have time for my son. When we do have problems, I try to listen very attentively, and with the help of Jehovah, we overcome them. I let him know that I make my share of mistakes. On one occasion I was very angry, and I told him to
"shut his mouth." He told me that to tell someone to "shut his mouth" showed a lack of love. He had a point. That afternoon we had a real long talk." - Yolanda Moras.
From Republic of Korea
"I eagerly applied Bible principles in my family life. Especially Deuteronomy 6:6-9 was deep in my heart. So I tried to be with my children as much as I could, to draw close to them, to inculcate the principles of God's Word in their minds and hearts. I also invited full-time missionaries and Bethel family members to our home to give my children a feel for full-time service.
"The first thing parents should do when children cause problems is to display the fruits of the spirit. It is easy to get upset at the children and to lose one's temper. We parents, however, must be patient and show exemplary conduct. It is important to respect children and give them the opportunity to explain the situation. If there is no clear evidence of wrongdoing, then trust them and always build them up. When you have to discipline a child, first reason with him, show him what he did wrong, and point out how displeasing his action was to Jeohow and to his parents. Only then discipline. Often my sons would say after they were disciplined: 'Dad, I don't understand myself, why I was rebellious. I was so foolish!' They appreciate parents who care enough to discipline them.
"Parents need to be alert to the start of bad conduct. When my oldest son was in middle school third grade, I heard loud rock music coming from his room. I discovered that he had joined a student discipline team (older, exemplary students who counseled other students), and he had been exposed to worldly influences. I learned that under continued pressure from team members and out of curiosity, he had smoked. We reasoned together on the dangers of smoking, and my son concluded on his own that he should resign from the team, which he did.
To fill the vacuum left by dropping objectionable school activities, we arranged for healthy recreation with the family and congregation members.
"Finally, I want to say that the most important thing is for parents to set a good example. I had always told my two boys that I wanted to serve God full-time as a minister preaching the good news. When my second boy finished school, I was able to retire from my job at a silk factory and become a full-time minister. My two boys saw my determination and followed suit. After serving time in prison because of the neutrality issue, both entered full-time service and are continuing to this day."—Shim Yoo Ki.
From Sweden
"We have raised seven children, five boys and two girls. Now grown, all are active in preaching the good news of God's Kingdom. From an early age, the children attended the congregation meetings and went with us in field service. Step-by-step they learned to do the preaching work—ring the doorbell, say hello, give their name, and offer a handbill, tract, or magazine. When still quite young, they gave talks in the Theocratic Ministry School.
"Sometimes serious problems required special attention. Showing love and patience is then important—no shooting or quarrelling. Problems were solved by reasoning things out and stressing Jehovah's views. We trained them in money matters. When older, they worked distributing newspapers, peat harvesting, gardening, and so forth. Visiting their grandparents far away from home made them aware of older people's problems and sympathetic toward them.
"To Our Beloved Parents:
"On our 30th wedding anniversary, we received the following letter:
"THANK YOU FOR ALL! The warm love you have lavished on us, the genuine faith you have instilled in us, the wonderful hope you have given us—this cannot be evaluated in words or money. However, we do hope that through this little keepsake, you will understand how much we feel for you, our beloved father and mother. [Signed] Your children.'
"Looking back on all these '20-year-projects,
we feel deep gratitude to Jehovah, our heavenly Father, who has been so merciful toward us." - Bertil and Britta Ostberg.
Miscellaneous Tidbits From Parents
"The nursing mother is Jehovah's method of bringing baby in close physical contact with mother, but a father can augment it with a rocking chair. I took personal delight in cradling our children in my arms and rocking them to sleep nearly every night."
"As their father, I was not equipped to nurse our children, but I did get close physical contact by giving them their nightly bath. For me and for them, it was fun time!"
"From time to time, I have taken each one of our children, separately, out to eat with me alone. They love this one-on-one time with Daddy."
"As the years passed, little by little we entrusted them with more freedom and responsibilities. A squeezed spring in one's hand must be released slowly to avoid having it fly away unrestrained."
"Show lots of affection. No child ever died from hugs and kisses—but their feelings can die without them."
"Be patient, don't beat them down. Don't
harp at them all the time. Let them develop
self-esteem. For every criticism give four
praises!"
"Give them your best, to make them their best."
What Children Need From Parents
THE success of a child's education should not be measured simply by the grades he receives. Of greater importance are the values he develops, his moral standards, his behavior, and his thinking. But who bear the principal responsibility for the child's development in these fields?
"The parents do," answers one longtime school counselor. "The primary objective of formal education is to support parents in producing responsible young adults who are well-developed intellectually, physically, and emotionally."
Such school counselors have frequently learned what works and what doesn't work when it comes to producing well-adjusted young adults. Roddy Cameron, another such counselor, has dealt with hundreds of cases over the years. He was asked by
Awake!: "What do children really need most to succeed?"
After pondering for a moment, he replied: "You show me a troubled kid, and the chances are extremely high that I can show you troubled parents." In reviewing his experiences in talking with such parents, he noted: "When trying to explain to me why they work so hard and have to be away from home so much, they almost always say they want to give their kids what they themselves didn't have."
Yet, are the material advantages that so many parents lacked when they were young what children really need? Are expensive cars, fine clothes, and exotic vacations important to becoming successful, well-adjusted students? "What's wrong with a hug, a kiss, love, attention?" asked Show me a troubled kid, and the chances are that I can show you troubled parents'
Cameron rhetorically. "These cost nothing, but they are things that kids need most."
Time, Love, and Concern
Tender loving care is the basic need of children. And the most effective way parents can provide it is by selfishly giving of themselves, giving of their time, and not being ashamed to show genuine, unhilited love and deep concern. One writer noted that the best gift one person can give another is "being there."
In its brochure Flain Talk About Raising Children, the U.S. National Institute of Mental Health reported the results of a survey of successful parents. They were identified as those whose children, over age 21, "were all productive adults who were apparently adjusting well to our society." The parents of these well-adjusted young adults were asked: 'Based on your personal experience, what is the best advice you could give to other parents?' The most frequent responses were: 'Love abundantly,' 'discipline constructively,' 'spend time together,' 'teach your children right from wrong,' 'develop mutual respect,' 'really listen to them,' 'offer guidance rather than a speech,' and 'be realistic.'
Does that sound prosaic, old-fashioned? Yet, parents might well ask themselves: 'If
Time, love, and concern make up the glue that holds families together
something works well, why abandon it for something different, something that doesn't work? Yes, time, love, and concern make up the glue that holds families together. It is the parents' homework to provide these basic needs for their children. Fulfilling their assignment will help their children to become successful students and then successful adults. There are no shortcuts, no substitutes, such as providing material things, thinking that they will make the difference.
Comparable to Plants
In many respects, children grow and develop like plants. The successful farmer knows what it takes to reap a good crop — fertile, cultivated soil; warm sunshine; water; weeding; and protective care. Often there are difficult times and heartaches along the way, right up to the harvest. But how proud successful farmers are when they see their hard-earned rewards!
Surely, a human life is more valuable than a farmer's harvest! Should it, therefore, be expected that the desired result could be obtained with less effort? Not according to the parents surveyed by the National Institute of Mental Health, nor according to the scores of parents and students interviewed by Awake! over the past two years.
The successful parent knows that raising a child takes commitment. The home environment must be right, with plenty of warmth and understanding. Gently and persistently, parents need to cultivate in their children an appreciation for learning and living. Patiently they need to adjust, watch, and helpfully share the difficult times and heartaches that mar every life's path. If parents do these things, the chances are very good that the harvest will be a successful young adult.
AWAKE!—September 8, 1988
Parents
Who Have Done Their Homework
ARENTS who do their homework provide their children with the things they really need. Obviously, this involves more than simply paying the bills. Such parents also help their children develop proper values and goals in life, and they give them plenty of time and loving concern.
"When the children were younger, we crawled on the floor with them, banged pots, wore pan covers as helmets, and swung kitchen ladies at one another to act out famous Bible characters in historic events," explains Wayne, a father of four. "The kids loved it."
As the children grew older, Wayne and his wife, Joanne, adjusted their teaching methods; yet they continued to stir their children's imagination and desire to learn. They thereby practiced some of the finest principles of teaching. Julie M. Jensen, president of the U.S. National Council of Teachers of English, believes that a good teacher never forgets his own childish excitement when he was learning, and he nourishes this in his students.
The Importance of Praise
Wayne and Joanne developed a system to help their children with their schoolwork. There is an "in" basket in the kitchen where the children put their graded papers on arriving home from school. Joanne reviews the papers while the children play or do their homework, and at supper the family often discuss them. The better ones are displayed on the refrigerator.
AWAKE!—September 8, 1988
Reading stirs children's curiosity and imagination
tor and on the kitchen walls, which resemble a cluttered art gallery.
"It is our way of extending praise to the children," says Joanne, "and they thrive on it." In the living room, the family has an "out" basket where the finished homework goes before bedtime.
"This way," explains Joanne, "we don't have to look for it in the morning when the children are rushing off to school."
Beatrice, a mother of two girls, also decorates her kitchen with the schoolwork of her children. She says: "I do it because I'm proud of my kids and want them to know it."
Recognizing the high value of praise, the Dallas, Texas, Independent School District encourages its volunteer tutors to make generous use of encouraging expressions, such as: Terrific! Much better. Keep it up! Good for you. That's clever. Exactly right. Very creative. Good thinking. Excellent work. Now you've got it. I appreciate the way you're trying.
If you are a parent, could you give encouragement more often?
Providing Support in Other Ways
In addition to praising their children's efforts, parents who do their homework cultivate a home environment that is conducive to study. They get their children interested in reading and learning about the world around them.
"My parents supported me," explained Julie, "by putting a fence around my study time. I had a particular place in the house to do my homework, and I was off limits to the rest of the family until it was done. During my study time, I was not required to do chores. Interruptions in my concentration were thereby avoided."
Mark tells how his parents supported him and his sisters: "They made sure we always had available a dictionary and other books to assist us in our studies. They encouraged us to build personal libraries by letting us buy books we were interested in without having to pay for them out of our allowances."
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