Reply from the Watchtower (suspicion of adultery) (1999-05-07)

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Dear Brother

In our letter dated April 12,1999, we informed you we were going to correspond with the elders of your congregation, then seek to offer direction. We have now heard from the elders and are pleased to offer the following.

You tell us that approximately 10 years ago your wife and another sister went to a bar and began associating with two worldly men. At about 2:00 a.m. the two men took the sisters to their apartment for breakfast. On this occasion there was some kissing involved and you report that your wife and one of the men went to a bedroom, shut the door, and remained there for 45- 60 minutes. Your wife adamantly denies that porneia occurred and there are no witnesses to establish otherwise. You wonder if this incident would constitute "all night" as discussed on page 111 of the Kingdom Ministry School textbook.

The incident you described would not correspond to what is stated on page 111 of the Kingdom Ministry School textbook. Spending 45-60 minutes with a member of the opposite sex under improper circumstances would not properly be considered "all night." Even if it did provide a basis for a Scriptural divorce and remarriage, the question would be mute if after learning of the incident you resumed sexual relations with your wife. As you can appreciate, suspicion of adultery is not sufficient to establish Scriptural freedom. Since your wife is a dedicated, baptized sister in the congregation, any suspected wrongdoing on the part of your wife would have to be established through the congregation before you could consider yourself to be Scripturally free.

Be assured, Brother that we realize this is a difficult situation for you. However, a successful marriage is possible. It must be kept in mind that long standing difficulties in a marriage will not disappear overnight. Time and persistent effort are required to resolve deeprooted problems. Though you and your wife are presently separated, and your wife continues to have difficulties with alcoholism, we hope you will not give up on your marriage. According to the scriptures, stress is laid on preserving a marriage. (1 Corinthians 7:10, 11; Matthew 19:9) Regardless of what your wife chooses to do, you can be determined to faithfully carry out your assigned role as a Christian husband. King David also experienced problems within his family, and yet, note what he was able to say from experience: "Throw your burden upon Jehovah himself, and he himself will sustain you.

Never will he allow the righteous one to totter. —Psalms 55:22.

Please be assured of our warm Christian love and best wishes.

Your brothers.

OF NEW YORK, INC.