Your Youth—Getting the Best out of It (1976)

Your Youth—Getting the Best out of It

Source: jw.org

Contents

Title Page/Publishers’ Page

Contents

Living for Today and Tomorrow

Why You Can Look to the Future with Confidence

Growing into Manhood

Moving into Womanhood

Masturbation and Homosexuality

Caring for Yourself Physically

Your Clothes and Appearance Talk—About You

What Kind of Friends Do You Want?

Are You Bored at Home?

How Do You View Your Parents?

Why Study in School?

Do You Finish What You Start?

How Do You View Discipline?

Should You Drink Alcoholic Beverages?

Drugs—Key to Real Living?

Sports and Entertainment

The Music and Dancing You Choose

Does Sexual Morality Make Sense?

Dating and Courtship

Can You Succeed in Marriage?

How Do You View Material Possessions?

Honesty—Does It Pay?

What Do You Want out of Life?

A Grand Future in Store for You

Title Page/Publishers’ Page

Title Page/​Publishers’ Page

Your Youth​—Getting the Best out of It

A person’s youth can be one of the happiest periods of life. Unfortunately, for many it is not. Changing standards have created a mixed-up world, and today’s problems often rob young people of happiness. This book is published to help them to see the solutions to these problems and so get the best out of life now and in the future.

​—The Publishers

Contents

Contents

PAGE CHAPTER

5 1 Living for Today and Tomorrow

9 2 Why You Can Look to the Future with Confidence

18 3 Growing into Manhood

25 4 Moving into Womanhood

35 5 Masturbation and Homosexuality

44 6 Caring for Yourself Physically

50 7 Your Clothes and Appearance Talk​—About You

59 8 What Kind of Friends Do You Want?

67 9 Are You Bored at Home?

73 10 How Do You View Your Parents?

80 11 Why Study in School?

86 12 Do You Finish What You Start?

92 13 How Do You View Discipline?

97 14 Should You Drink Alcoholic Beverages?

106 15 Drugs​—Key to Real Living?

116 16 Sports and Entertainment

124 17 The Music and Dancing You Choose

133 18 Does Sexual Morality Make Sense?

142 19 Dating and Courtship

157 20 Can You Succeed in Marriage?

166 21 How Do You View Material Possessions?

172 22 Honesty​—Does It Pay?

180 23 What Do You Want out of Life?

187 24 A Grand Future in Store for You

The scriptures referred to in this book may be found in any translation of the Bible. However, unless otherwise indicated, direct quotations are from the modern-language New World Translation of the Holy Scriptures, 1971 edition.

Living for Today and Tomorrow

Chapter 1

Living for Today and Tomorrow

1-5. Why should youth be a happy time? Yet what makes it challenging?

YOUR youth should be a wonderful time of life. It is something like the spring season of the year. Youth is a time of fresh vitality. Your body is getting stronger and your mind is also developing. Many opportunities are opening up to learn and to do things. So there are lots of reasons why youth should be a happy and exciting time.

2 But is it, or will it be, for you? There are many things that can help or hinder in this. Some of these are things you can’t do anything about. But many of them you can. This book is written in the hope that it will help you to get the best out of your youth, with long-lasting benefits.

3 Youth is a time of challenge. As you probably realize, the road of life today has plenty of rough spots. It takes courage to face them. But if you learn early how to overcome the rough spots, then the rest of the road becomes far smoother for you. Each time you win out over a problem your confidence will grow.

4 How much better it is to face the challenge of youth than to let the rough spots, the pressures and problems, sidetrack you. Of course, it would be easy just to dream or to kid yourself that life is different from what it really is. But sooner or later those who do that are sure to run into hard reality. It could then be very difficult to recover and move ahead. Valuable time would be lost because, as the saying goes, you are young only once.

5 Right now you are in a transition time, a period of change. Your body, for example, is moving toward physical maturity. But it doesn’t reach that stage until sometime between the ages of twenty and twenty-three. It can take still longer for you to reach emotional maturity. Some of the changes taking place in you could make you feel confused or unsure of yourself. When you feel new pressures building up inside, how do you handle them? This book considers these changes that take place during youth and how to cope with them successfully. You can even enjoy meeting the challenges they bring, for they are all part of the remarkable experience of becoming an individual, a distinct person​—You.

AIDS FOR CHARTING YOUR COURSE

6-9. How can you benefit by learning about what other people have done?

6 Sometimes it may seem that your life is very restricted, filled with “do’s” and “don’ts.” But, thinking of it another way, when you’re young you have a kind of freedom you won’t have later on. Instead of being loaded down with all the responsibilities that older people have, you’re free to spend a lot of time getting knowledge and developing your abilities and skills. You have much more time to learn about and to think about what other people have done or are doing. You can learn about their successes and their failures, and can see where they made wise choices or foolish mistakes. This can help you to know what direction you want to take on the road of life.

7 Can you decide on that direction all on your own, without any help? How much sense would it make to try? Take some examples:

8 Let’s say you want to build a car engine. Would you start out to do it by yourself without first learning what experienced mechanics can tell you? If you did, how would the motor probably turn out? Or would you try to make a dress for a party without ever having seen anyone sew, or without a pattern? You can imagine what the dress would look like.

9 Doesn’t it almost go without saying that human living is a lot more complicated than a car engine or a party dress?

KEEP YOUR COMMUNICATION LINES OPEN

10-16. (a) Why do some youths feel that they don’t want to learn from older people? How do you feel about that? (b) Besides listening to older persons, why do we also need some other source of information about life?

10 It’s a simple fact of life that every one of us builds on what others before us learned. But you can’t do that without communication. With no communication​—no talking, no reading, no observing of others so as to learn—​there is no drawing on the knowledge and experience that others have gained.

11 To get the best out of your youth you need to benefit from what others have learned. This includes such things as how to take the best care of your body, how to get and to keep really good friends, helpful guidelines as to dating and courting, and the answers to questions about marriage, sex and the use of alcoholic drinks or drugs. These are all considered in this book.

12 But maybe you are thinking about what you see today in the world around you. There is a lot of selfishness. Many people are being treated unfairly. There is also much cheating, pollution, crime, war, lying and hypocrisy. ‘So what can I learn from older persons when they have made such a mess of things?’ you may ask.

13 True, many older persons today do bear guilt for these conditions. They either take part in the wrongs done or at least go along with and support the systems that produce those conditions.

14 On the other hand, aren’t there a lot of older persons who are just as disgusted at seeing the way things are going as you are? After all, these problems didn’t just start to develop within one generation. When your parents were of the same age as you are now, they also found the world scene discouraging. In fact, for the past half century, particularly since the first world war of 1914-1918, people seem to be going from one crisis to another, each one getting harder to handle.

15 Just being older or having more experience obviously doesn’t bring all the answers to life’s problems. Otherwise things everywhere would always be getting better. But they are not. So, then, in addition to the experience of others, is there another and even better source of information and help that you can tap?

16 Yes, there is. We’ll talk about that now.

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Why You Can Look to the Future with Confidence

Chapter 2

Why You Can Look to the Future with Confidence

1-4. What does confidence have to do with whether a person will succeed or not? Why is it that a lot of people don’t feel very confident about the future?

HAVE you ever tried jumping over a bar in a high jump, or even over a fence or a wall? If the height was not too great, and you were confident that you could do it, you probably made the jump successfully. But if you were afraid you couldn’t make it, the jump may have failed, with unpleasant consequences for you.

2 That is the way it is with so many things. If you’re afraid to go into the water, for example, you’ll never learn to swim.

3 So, too, with getting the best out of your youth. Confidence can have a lot to do with this. You can’t really be happy or make good progress on the road of life without confidence in what lies ahead. But today, what is there to merit our confidence?

4 We could spend a lot of time talking about the reasons for not having confidence. Our planet Earth is getting more and more polluted, its wildlife is being killed off, and there are food shortages and other serious problems. These things may make you wonder if there is anything worth looking forward to. Some young people feel that, with the way things on earth are being ruined, there isn’t much of a future for them. And it may indeed appear so. Yet there are a lot of things that people don’t talk about so much but that give us reason to look forward to the future with confidence. Consider a few of these.

YOUR PLANETARY HOME

5-8. Name some of the factors that make life possible on the earth. How did this amazing combination of things come about?

5 It’s easy for us to take the earth for granted. Yet this planet we were born on and live on is truly an amazing piece of work. Like a spinning ball, the earth travels through millions of miles of space as it circles the sun, 93 million miles (about 150,000,000 kilometers) away. What would happen if the earth were in a different position? Well, if it were as far away from the sun as, say, the planets Pluto and Neptune, the earth would be like a big deep-freeze, far too cold to live on. And if it were a third of the distance closer to the sun, as is the planet Venus, the earth would become like an oven, for the temperature would become so high that even lakes and rivers would boil.

6 Or, even though its distance from the sun is ideal, what if the earth didn’t rotate on its axis as it does every twenty-four hours? Suppose, like Mercury, it rotated only a little more than once during its annual trip around the sun. Then nearly one half of the earth would be a frozen sub-zero waste, with the remainder a deserted furnace.

7 That isn’t all. Why is it that, at least in much of the earth, we can enjoy the freshness and flowers of spring, the warm, sunny days of summer, the crispness and color of autumn and the beauty of winter snow? These seasons result from the earth’s being tilted at an angle relative to its path around the sun. The seasons help to make most of this planet’s surface a very pleasant place to live. And they make it possible for a large part of the earth to produce food for man and animals.

8 There are hundreds of other factors that work together to make life on this planet possible. But what does all of this tell us? Ask yourself: How did this amazing combination of things come to be? Surely we must recognize that our planet Earth had a Designer. Yes, the many systems making life possible on earth are far, far more complicated than any spaceship that human scientists have designed and built. All the thought and work that earth’s complicated systems represent also tell us something else. Clearly, they tell us that the Designer of the earth is interested in making life pleasant and happy for those who live here. That includes you.

9-12. Even though a lot of damage has been done to the earth, what illustrates its ability to recover from harm?

9 True, a lot of people today are seriously damaging the earth by polluting it and misusing it. But that can be changed. And the damage can be reversed.

10 For example, consider what happened on the Pacific island of Krakatoa. It blew up in a huge volcanic explosion. If you had visited there right afterward, you would have seen that the whole island was just ashes. Nothing remained alive there​—no people, no animals, no plants. But then what happened?

11 Without anyone’s help, the island began to recover. Within three years, some twenty-six kinds of plants began to flourish there again. Soon coconut trees, wild sugarcane and orchids were growing. And twenty-five years after the explosion, there were 263 species of animals on Krakatoa. The damage from the volcano disappeared. The gardenlike conditions of the island had returned.

12 The amazing way the island of Krakatoa recovered can be repeated all over the earth. And, as we will see later in this book, there is good reason to believe that it will.

AN AMAZING FOOD FACTORY

13-17. How is food produced from the earth? (Psalm 104:14) How does the variety of food that the earth produces contribute to one’s enjoyment of life? So, what kind of life did the Designer of all these things have in mind for us? (Isaiah 25:6; Psalm 67:6)

13 The next time you sit down to a meal, stop and think about this: No matter whether you are eating white rice or white potatoes, brown wheat or brown beans, yellow corn or yellow squash, black or red berries, they all come from plants with green leaves. Why? Because of the amazing process called photosynthesis.a

14 Such plants all have a green substance in their leaves called chlorophyll. When the sun’s light hits the leaves the chlorophyll goes to work producing complex chemical changes. In the plant’s cells water and carbon dioxide (which the plant takes from the air) are combined to form a simple sugar, the basis of all food. Using that sugar, green plants also make more complex things like carbohydrates, fats, proteins and vitamins. Speaking of the astounding production that results from photosynthesis, botanist Frits W. Went says:

“In terms of tonnage, its production makes man’s industries seem trifling. Every year the world’s steel mills turn out 350 million tons of steel, the world’s cement factories 325 million tons of cement. The world’s green plants, however, produce 150 billion tons of sugar every year.

15 Scientists know what happens, but they still can’t understand just how photosynthesis works. As one science writer says, researchers often refer to the process as “the black box.” Why? Because “they know what goes in and what comes out but are not sure about everything that goes on inside.” With all their chemical laboratories, men can never duplicate this amazing process.

16 Almost as remarkable is the tremendous variety of food the earth produces. Perhaps you especially like some certain food​—let’s say strawberries. But what if everything​—potatoes, rice, bread, apples, oranges—​tasted like strawberries? You would soon get tired of that taste, wouldn’t you? Instead, with the different fruits, vegetables, grains, nuts and berries that the earth’s food factory produces, there are thousands of different flavors for your taste buds to enjoy.

17 Again, what does all of this tell us? Very obviously, the One who originated this amazing food factory wants life on this earth to be very pleasurable. He is concerned about a happy future for us. The same Designer that made planet Earth such an ideal home has also seen to it that this home is stocked with everything needed for a splendid banquet for those living here. Later on in this book we will also see just how He proposes to make that banquet available to all who want to share in it.

LOOK AT YOURSELF!

18-23. What is there about our bodies that shows that we were meant to be far superior to the animals?

18 Finally, think a little about yourself. To think, of course, you have to use your brain​—so why not start there? Naturally, you can’t see your brain, but what do you think it is like? When fully developed, the human brain looks like an oversized pinkish-gray walnut and weighs less than three pounds (1.3 kilos). But what tremendous ability is packed into that small area! A scientific report in the New York Times says:

“The constitution of the brain . . . is so complex that it makes the giant electronic computers mere child’s toys by comparison.”

19 Yes, the brain you possess and can use has been described as “the most complex piece of matter in the universe.” Now, if someone gave you a fine watch or an expensive camera or a valuable electronic calculator, you would certainly care for it and try to get the best use out of it, right? You should feel far more appreciation for your brain.

20 Think, too, of your body. Now, it’s true that a lion is stronger than you are, an elephant is certainly bigger, a dolphin can swim faster, a monkey can climb better, an eagle can soar in the heights with its own wings and you can’t. But none of these creatures combines in itself all the abilities that a man has. Lions and elephants can’t fly, dolphins can’t climb trees or mountains, nor can eagles swim. But humans can do all of these, either unaided or with their inventions. Yes, above all, humans are unique in their ability to make things, in endless variety.

21 One reason for this is your hands. No tool ever invented can do all the things you can with your hands​—from heavy work in mechanics or carpentry, to activities that call for a delicate touch, as in playing an instrument, painting or drawing the design for a house.

22 Really, your hands are just one of the things that make your body so marvelous. No wonder that Dr. W. W. Akers, an engineer working with surgeons, said of the human body:

“The body is the ultimate in technological perfection. Almost any machine you can dream up​—no matter how sophisticated—​you can look into the body and find a better one.”

23 Clearly a Master Designer wanted humans to be far superior to the animals and to be able to enjoy the earth in the greatest way possible. This gives us reason to be confident that He is concerned about our enjoying a rewarding future.

YOU CAN MOVE AHEAD WITH CONFIDENCE

24-28. Why is it reasonable to believe that the earth had a Designer and Maker? (Romans 1:20) Where has he provided answers to our questions about life? (2 Timothy 3:16) How can we find out whether doing what the Bible says would really help us to face the future with confidence? (2 Peter 3:13; Revelation 21:1-4)

24 We have seen that this planet and everything in it gives evidence of intelligence and design far superior to what is manifest in any home or building we have ever seen. You undoubtedly can agree with this simple statement found in the Bible: “Of course, every house is constructed by someone.” (Hebrews 3:4) Suppose you went out into a vast desert and found a house there but didn’t see anyone around. You wouldn’t think that the house made itself, would you? So, too, the earth obviously has a Designer and Maker, though unseen to us. Nobel Prize winner Max Planck said:

“There is no explanation of the universe apart from the assumption of a Supreme Creative Intelligence.”

25 The Bible tells us who this “Supreme Creative Intelligence” is that constructed our home, the earth. It tells us that he is the Maker of heaven and earth, Jehovah God.

26 This great Designer is obviously very powerful and wise. And just as clearly he has the best interests of all of us​—you included—​at heart. If you can learn what other humans know, then you can learn much, much more from Him as to how to get the best out of your youth.

27 That is where the Bible comes in. It tells of the Creator’s purposes for the earth and all mankind. It gives his answer to many questions humans have. It shows where their problems come from and how they will be solved. The Bible does not direct your hopes toward the present failing systems that have filled the earth with so much trouble and danger. It points to new systems that offer something far better.

28 Whether you have read the Bible to some extent or not, you may wonder if what it says can really solve your problems and answer your questions. You will never know unless you look carefully into it. In this book that you are now reading, we will see what the Bible has to say and the answers and guidance it gives. See for yourself how reasonable and realistic the Bible is. Yes, see for yourself how Jehovah God’s Word, the Bible, can help you to meet the challenge before you, and then move confidently ahead toward a happy and worthwhile future.

[Footnotes]

From photo, meaning “light,” and synthesis, meaning the “forming of a compound substance by combining simpler elements.”

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Knowledge about the Creator of the earth provides basis for confidence as to the future

Growing into Manhood

Chapter 3

Growing into Manhood

1-6. What are some marvelous facts about our development up till the time of birth? Is there anyone who deserves credit for all of this? (Psalm 139:13-18)

WE CAN benefit by looking at how we each had our beginning as individuals. Just think about it: Not so many years ago you were a single fertilized egg cell smaller than the period at the end of this sentence. From that tiny beginning, you began growing within your mother’s womb. In time your body was complete with a brain that thinks, eyes that see, ears that hear, and many other marvelous organs. How did this remarkable growth take place?

2 Your parents didn’t draw up blueprints to produce you. Rather, this was all done within the fertilized egg that was formed by the uniting of a sperm cell from your father with the egg cell in your mother’s womb. In a matter of minutes, the plans were drawn up inside that tiny cell for the entire new human that turned out to be you!

3 All the information needed to create you is found in the DNAa of that tiny fertilized cell. DNA is the essential substance of the tens of thousands of genes in each cell, and these genes are linked into twenty-three sets of chromosomes. So much information is packed into each cell that, if it were to be written out in human language, a whole roomful of books would be required. But perhaps even more amazing is the fact that all this detailed information is passed along to each new cell of the body. So each cell has all the same information that the original fertilized egg contained!

4 But you may ask: How is the DNA able to use only the information it wants, and only when it wants to, for building a person’s many different body parts? For instance, how does it manage to select only the instructions needed to build an eye? And when it builds an eye, how does it suppress all the information for building your ears, kidneys, liver, and so forth?

5 It is a mystery. Humans haven’t figured it out. It is the design of a grand Creator! Because of what one of the writers of the Bible knew about the human body, he said to God: “I shall laud you because in a fear-inspiring way I am wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful, as my soul is very well aware.” (Psalm 139:14) Is that how you feel?

6 In only nine months the single fertilized cell with which you began became a fully developed baby, an amazingly complex organization of some billions of cells. Your growth will never again be so rapid! But about thirteen or fourteen years after your birth, you begin another rapid spurt of growth. At this particular time you start changing from a boy into a man.b The entire transitional period, which is known as adolescence, lasts for a number of years. It ends when you reach physical maturity, generally between the ages of twenty and twenty-three. This period is not the easiest in your life, but it is very, very important. It is a proving ground for your future development.

CHANGES DURING PUBERTY

7-12. (a) What changes occur in a male during puberty? Is there any reason to worry about these changes? (b) How can a young man tell when his sex organs have developed so that he can father children?

7 Puberty covers the earlier period of adolescence. Strictly, it is the age at which symptoms of sexual maturing appear. This age is commonly fixed at fourteen for boys and twelve for girls, but there is a wide variation in what is normal. You may have entered puberty at eleven or twelve, or you may be fifteen or sixteen and still not have begun maturing sexually. But an early or late maturing is not unusual, so there is no reason for concern. What are some of the problems you can expect during puberty?

8 For one thing, you may experience a certain awkwardness and lack of coordination. This is because your bones are lengthening and the muscles have to stretch along with them. In this expansion some parts of the body seem to grow rapidly, while others may lag. However, any resulting clumsiness will pass. It is no cause for great concern, though extra care is certainly worth while, as it could save you from possible harm through some accident.

9 Among the body parts that are stretching out are the vocal cords. The extra length makes the voice deepen. But during the lengthening process your voice may often “crack,” suddenly hitting a high note when you least expect it. Again, this is part of the “growing pains” of adolescence. So, when it happens and others are amused, just smile along with them and any embarrassment will quickly pass.

10 At the root of these body changes are your glands, including the thyroid, the adrenals and the gonads (sex glands). They produce yet other changes. One of them is the growth of hair around the organs of procreation, also under your armpits and on your chest. The amount varies from person to person and is no indicator whatsoever of how “manly” you are. Hair also begins to appear on the face. Though as yet this may be but a mere “fuzz,” your encounter with the experience of shaving is steadily drawing near.

11 Perhaps the change that most often is a source of disturbance for boys growing toward manhood involves the organs of procreation, the genitals. During puberty these not only attain their full size but also begin to function. The Bible, at Leviticus 15:16, 17, refers to ‘emissions of semen.’ If your parents have failed to discuss the matter with you beforehand, your first emission of semen may be somewhat of an upsetting experience. What causes such emission?

12 When you become developed enough to father children, then your sex organ begins to secrete the fluid called semen. It’s a heavier fluid than water and, although there is not much of it, it contains millions of tiny sperm cells. Any one of these cells can fertilize a woman’s egg cell and make it grow into a baby. More or less periodically your body will relieve itself of this semen. The emission usually takes place while you sleep and are dreaming.

PURPOSE OF SEX

13-15. (a) For what purpose did God provide sex? Why did he lay down rules to regulate it? (Hebrews 13:4) (b) Most likely, where is the best place to get reliable information about sex? (Proverbs 6:20)

13 Our Creator provided sex as a means for a man to express deep love for a woman and to father their children. But God laid down rules regarding sex, explaining that sex relations are to be had only by a man and a woman who are married to each other. This is because God purposed that every baby brought into the world should have both a father and a mother who would take all the responsibility of rearing that child. It is, therefore, wrong in God’s sight for persons who are not married to engage in sexual relations.

14 On the other hand, for married persons sexual relations are a wonderful way for them to express love for each other. The husband lies close to his wife so that his male organ fits naturally into her birth canal. This can give great pleasure to each of them. In the process, the husband’s sperm cells go out of his body through his male organ right into his wife’s birth canal. These sex cells move through the canal, and if a mature egg cell is there in the wife, one of her husband’s sperm cells may join with it, and the fertilized cell will begin to grow into a baby. So you see, God made the sex organs for a sacred purpose, that of passing on life. That is why it is proper that they be used according to God’s rules.

15 The best way to get answers to your questions about sexual development is to ask your parents, particularly your father. Your father has already experienced everything you have gone through and lots more. Also, whereas other youths might give you information that is only half right​—a few facts and a lot of wild stories—​your father should be able to give you good information that will help you and work for your happiness. If your father is not in a position to give you information or counsel based on God’s Word, it would be valuable for you to know what God’s Word says. You will find that elders in a congregation of Jehovah’s Witnesses will be glad to be of help to you.

PROVING YOURSELF RESPONSIBLE

16-18. (a) In what ways have your parents encouraged you to exercise a measure of independence? How might what you do with those privileges affect your future opportunities? (b) Why do many young fellows join “gangs”? What might this lead to? (1 Corinthians 15:33)

16 As you approach manhood it is natural for you to feel a desire for self-identity​—to feel that you are a distinct person. It is also natural that you have a desire for a measure of independence. Your parents will likely begin preparing you for the time when you can be independent. How?

17 No doubt by gradually giving you more responsibility and the privilege of sharing in making certain decisions as to things you will do. They may invite you to express your preference as to certain subjects you will take at school or they may let you take a part-time job. You may be allowed to do your own buying of some of your personal items. But whatever your parents see fit to do in this regard, it will then be up to you to show that you merit responsibility. If you act in a childish way or get “bigheaded,” then they may have to reduce your privileges until you show yourself more of a man.

18 This desire for greater self-identity and a measure of independence is accompanied by other natural desires. You will feel a need to be appreciated by others for what you are and what you can do. Some youths seek to satisfy their desire for self-identity and ‘a sense of belonging’ by joining or forming “gangs.” But such gangs generally make their own code of conduct, and the facts show that this almost always leads to wrongdoing, at times even to serious crimes. Probably more than any other single factor, bad companionship is to be found at the root of the problem when young men get into trouble.

19, 20. Why is a good relationship with your parents important? What could damage it? (Proverbs 23:24, 25)

19 During this period of life you begin to get some idea of what you are going to look like physically as a grown man. But you should also start thinking more and more about what you are going to be like inside, what the Bible calls “the secret person of the heart.” (1 Peter 3:4) This stage of your life is not the time to let a desire for increased independence somehow divide you off from your parents and the rest of the family. The changes you are experiencing during puberty, and the new urges you feel and have to learn to control, actually increase your need for their love and steadying influence.

20 So instead of drawing away from your parents and letting a gap develop, draw closer to them and learn all that you can from them as you now approach adulthood. You will never regret this. And you will bring them real happiness too, making them proud to have you as their son.

[Footnotes]

DNA is the code name for deoxyribonucleic acid.

The following chapter discusses the change from girlhood to womanhood.

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In only nine months a single cell becomes a baby

Moving into Womanhood

Chapter 4

Moving into Womanhood

1-3. During adolescence, what might cause a girl concern as to her own physical growth? But what eventually happens?

SPRINGTIME eventually passes into summer. Flowering trees in time become fruit-bearing trees. So, also, do young girls naturally become young women. As when a bud has opened up, revealing what the flower is like, so, too, when this transitional period of adolescence is over, the woman you are going to become is more clearly evident. In this development there is much you can do to contribute toward happy results.

2 During your adolescent years, you grow taller, adding perhaps five or six inches (12 to 15 centimeters) to your height. You also become heavier. As a rule, there will be a couple of years when you experience a “growth spurt,” a time when your rate of growth in height and weight speeds up remarkably. You may see other girls of your same age suddenly outgrowing you, or you may find yourself swiftly outgrowing them. Either way, there is no need to become concerned about this. Each individual’s time for this rapid growth period comes at its own point. Girls generally enter this “growth spurt” a year or two earlier than boys. There is, in fact, a time when girls may tend to be taller than boys of the same age. But the boys catch up and, since their growth continues longer than that of girls, generally the boys finish up taller and stronger.

3 Sometimes this growth spurt is initially more rapid in one part of the body than in another. Your feet or hands may seem to become distressingly long in proportion to the rest of your body. But, in time, the rest of the body gets into the swing of growth and things equalize. Usually the lengthening of the torso and the deepening of the chest cavity develop last. Facial contours change. At the same time other parts of the body begin to develop fatty deposits that give the rounded form of the feminine figure.

OTHER BODILY CHANGES

4-6. (a) What “customary thing with women” begins during adolescence? What purpose is served by this bodily process? (b) What other physical changes also occur at this time, and why?

4 But another development takes place during feminine adolescence. It is the start of what Rachel, a woman spoken of in the Bible, called “the customary thing with women,” menstruation. (Genesis 31:34, 35) In a sense, it is a thrilling moment​—it shows that you have reached the threshold of womanhood. Hormone secretions have begun to work in your body. They stimulate your ovaries to begin releasing egg cells, quite irregularly at first, but then about once every four weeks. The egg cell, when released, passes down into your womb, which has been stimulated to develop a special lining for receiving the egg in case it should become fertilized. When the egg remains infertile, this lining is in time discarded. This is what produces menstruation, the periodic discharge of blood, fluid and some tissue. While some accompanying pain or discomfort may be experienced, it is a normal process and should cause no undue concern.

5 When do these monthly cycles begin? Their start varies from person to person. While in many lands the average is at around thirteen years, one girl may begin menstruating as early as ten years of age or even earlier, while another may not begin until sixteen or even later. Similarly, the length of the menstrual flow may vary from three to five days.

6 Along with this change from childhood to womanhood, there is a broadening of your hips, and your breasts begin to develop. These many developments, some visible, some invisible, are all preparations for the dual role in life that mankind’s Creator has reserved for women​—that of being a wife and a mother. The broader hips that girls develop not only aid in making childbirth easier but also make it easier to carry small children. During pregnancy the normal fatty deposits on the woman’s body are a reserve supply that can be drawn on as she nourishes unborn or newly born children, and with birth the breasts begin producing milk.

GROWING ATTRACTION TO MEN

7-10. (a) How does the development of a girl’s body place upon her added responsibility as to her conduct? (b) How is this responsibility illustrated in The Song of Solomon by the comparisons of a certain girl to “a wall” and “a door”?

7 The privileges granted to women by mankind’s Creator, Jehovah God, carry with them the responsibility to respect and act in harmony with the Creator’s purpose. The mutual attraction that God has caused to exist between the sexes is largely related to procreation. As a girl’s body develops so that she is capable of bearing children, she exerts a stronger attraction toward males who have reached the stage of being able to father children. But this attraction can be misused or abused. What, then, needs to be kept in mind so that you can take the right course, one that will contribute to your lasting future happiness and assure God’s blessing?

8 In the Bible book The Song of Solomon we find an interesting expression evidently made by the older brothers of a maiden from Shulem. First, one is quoted as saying: “We have a little sister that does not have any breasts. What shall we do for our sister on the day that she will be spoken for?” That is, what would they do for their sister when she had ceased to be flat-chested, had grown up and someone now asked to arrange for her marriage? Another brother answered, saying: “If she should be a wall, we shall build upon her a battlement of silver; but if she should be a door, we shall block her up with a cedar plank.” (Song of Solomon 8:8, 9) What does this mean?

9 Their figurative language apparently meant that if their sister proved to be firm as a “wall” they would handsomely reward and honor her. How could she prove firm as a wall? By showing firm determination to remain chaste, showing strength in resisting any attempts to involve her in immoral conduct. When suitable for marriage, she would show herself steady and constant in holding to right principles. On the other hand, if she was like a “door” that swings open to anyone exerting a little strength toward it, even to someone unwholesome, then they would have to take steps to restrict her, in effect, to ‘bar her shut’ as someone not to be trusted as regards the opposite sex. She could also be like a door that swings open and shut in her affections, becoming infatuated first with one person and then rejecting him for another.

10 The Shulammite maiden, now a matured woman with breasts, successfully passed this test and was able to say to her brothers: “I am a wall, and my breasts are like towers. In this case I have become in his eyes [that is, the eyes of her prospective husband] like her that is finding peace.”​—Song of Solomon 8:10.

11-14. (a) Why might the wearing of short skirts or tight sweaters lead to unwanted problems for a young woman? (b) As a young woman, for what reasons especially would you like to be attractive to a young man?

11 You, too, face a similar test as you approach womanhood. If you want to enjoy true peace of mind, heart and conscience, and protect yourself against experiencing peace-wrecking problems, you need to exercise self-control and show strength for what is right. Ought you to draw attention deliberately to those parts of your body that relate to motherhood by wearing short, snug-fitting skirts, low-cut blouses or tight sweaters? That would have a sexually stimulating effect on those of the opposite sex. Then what?

12 Well, will you have the firmness and strength to resist all advances that such emphasis on those body parts might induce? And, even though you show physical development, do you have the mental and emotional development you would need for marriage and possible motherhood? A cat is ready to have kittens at twelve months of age and instinctively can do a good job of caring for her offspring. But humans are not creatures of instinct like animals. Humans have to learn far more than they inherit, and learning takes time. To try to rush the process would be like trying to force the petals of a rosebud to open before their time. That would only ruin the flower and damage any future beauty it might have. Remember, too, marriage is not just being a bride. It also means being a housekeeper, a cook and a clothes washer, and being a mother requires great patience and endurance toward children​—all of this in good times and bad, in sickness and in health.

13 Besides this, even though a young woman might feel that she is prepared for marriage, what kind of husband does she want to try to attract? If a young man is attracted simply by what a girl appears to be able to give in the way of sexual satisfaction, is he likely to make a good husband? Rather than trying to attract on that basis, would it not be far better to seek enduring friendships on the basis of what you are as a person​—in your mind and heart? You can do that by developing personality traits that are attractive to others. Also, by such things as your conversation, by showing a wholesome, cheerful outlook on life, by showing that you appreciate such things as honesty, modesty, decency, kindness and unselfishness.

14 You can prove that you are genuine in this by refusing to throw away these fine qualities for a few moments of pleasure that would only cheapen and lower you in your own estimation and in that of others whom you respect, admire and cherish. Especially by showing that you have truly worthwhile goals in life, that you want to ‘remember your Creator in the days of your young womanhood,’ can you gain as friends persons whose friendship you will always treasure and which can bring you real happiness.​—Ecclesiastes 12:1.

PROPER VIEW OF APPEARANCE

15, 16. (a) Though it’s natural to be concerned about your physical appearance, what will have a far greater effect on your future happiness? (b) In terms of everyday life, explain Proverbs 11:22. Also Proverbs 31:30.

15 It is natural for teen-age girls to be concerned with their personal appearance. But do not be overly anxious or dissatisfied with your physical form or face, as if your whole future depended on this. Look at the grown-ups around you​—people you like and admire. Are not many, perhaps most of them, of rather ordinary appearance? Physical attractiveness is not the real key to future happiness.

16 And this is just as true of the girl who does have physical beauty. She should realize that many beautiful women wind up leading very empty, and often immoral, lives. How true is the Bible proverb: “As a gold nose ring in the snout of a pig, so is a woman that is pretty but that is turning away from sensibleness.”! (Proverbs 11:22) Yes, as the Bible also says, “charm may be false, and prettiness may be vain; but the woman that fears Jehovah is the one that procures praise for herself.”​—Proverbs 31:30.

STRIVING FOR EMOTIONAL BALANCE

17-19. (a) What emotional changes may a girl experience during adolescence? What can help her to attain emotional balance? (Galatians 5:22, 23) (b) What personal habits can also contribute to one’s stability?

17 The physical changes of adolescence may bring emotional changes. Even as a young girl may feel full of energy one minute and exhausted the next, so too her emotions may tend to fluctuate widely. Periods of brightness and joy may be quickly followed by periods of gloom and depression. You may find yourself wondering if you are really normal or just what kind of person you are turning out to be. Especially in the modern industrial society, with its shifting sets of values, adolescent girls are subject to tension and uncertainty.

18 It would be easy to give in to this instability, become withdrawn, introverted, or become very independent and assertive. Some girls do give in to displays of rudeness, flashes of bad temper or coarse speech. Others begin to make a pretense of being something they are not, becoming superficial. But this does not help; it only worsens matters. Now that you are coming out of childhood, it is a time to make a serious personal effort to cultivate the fruits of God’s spirit​—love, joy, peace, long-suffering, kindness, goodness, faith, mildness and self-control.

19 Cultivate, too, habits that contribute toward stability. Instead of letting your room become messy, keep it orderly and neat. Strive for regularity in sleeping and eating habits; your developing body needs all the help you can give it. The more you can do along these lines, the more calm and stable you will feel, and this will help to moderate your emotional experiences.

20, 21. (a) When you have questions about life, why will you get more reliable information from your parents than from other teen-agers? (b) What, in particular, will make you a truly attractive person?

20 By all means do not let this period of transition cause you to pull away from your parents. They can provide the solid help and reliable firmness you need to lean on so as to keep your balance during this time of change. While you are subject to much “peer pressure”​—pressure from others of your age to be like them—​realize that they themselves are changing. That is why what pleases them today may not please them at all tomorrow. To be overly concerned about what they think of you will only increase your problems. That is why, too, when you have personal, intimate questions, your parents are by far the better source of information. They can give you a much fuller, more balanced answer than your schoolmates could ever give.

21 Just as early showers are followed by pretty flowers, so, too, if you learn to weather the storm and take things in your stride, you will find the way to stability and confidence. While you should be concerned about keeping yourself physically well and clean (by good diet and regular hygiene), you need to concentrate​—not so much on what you are on the outside—​but on what you are on the inside. The adornment of a “quiet and mild spirit” produced by the ‘secret person of your heart’ is what will make you truly attractive​—in the eyes of God and of humans.​—1 Peter 3:3, 4.

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Are you like a door . . .

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. . . or like a wall?

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Do you put too great an emphasis on physical appearance?

Masturbation and Homosexuality

Chapter 5

Masturbation and Homosexuality

1-4. (a) What is masturbation? (b) Why does the fact that a practice is common not necessarily make it right? (c) Why should we be interested in God’s view on this matter?

ISN’T it remarkable how the bodies of boys and girls develop during adolescence so that they can either father children or give birth to them? Along with this physical transformation of your body, there is usually a change in your attitude toward the opposite sex. An attraction grows, and often boys develop a keen interest in girls, and girls in boys. But, at the same time, you may have a certain wonderment and curiosity about your own rapidly changing body. How should you satisfy this curiosity? Should you experiment with your sex organs? Is there anything wrong with rubbing them in some way until the excitement is climaxed?

2 This practice is called masturbation. It is very common. One authority on the subject says: “Every serious statistical study that we have shows clearly that . . . at least ninety-five per cent of boys and young men between thirteen and twenty-five years of age pass through periods of habitual masturbation of varying lengths.” As for girls, this source says that “forty to fifty per cent are found to actually masturbate.” Some people say that these figures prove “normalcy” and that the “absence of masturbation in a healthy youth is a matter of concern.”

3 Now, what do you think? Do you agree that, because in today’s world masturbation is a very common thing, this makes it a natural, normal function of the body? Lying and stealing are also common today. Yet you wouldn’t say this makes them natural and proper, would you? The “common” cold is quite universal, but this certainly doesn’t mean that you want it, does it? Then what about the claim that masturbation is harmless?

4 From a physical standpoint, the majority of doctors say that occasional masturbation is harmless. Like most psychiatrists, they say that damage comes only if the practicer has feelings of guilt that cause mental and emotional disturbance, these, in turn, producing physical upset. But doctors and psychiatrists are imperfect humans, subject to error, and their views change. There is, though, a source of counsel that young people can turn to that is stable and free from error or misjudgment. That is God’s Word. And if we want, not just longer life, but everlasting life in God’s favor, we should seek his wisdom and counsel. He can do for us and for our happiness what men could never do.

VIEW OF A HIGHER SOURCE

5, 6. (a) How does the counsel at Colossians 3:5 relate to masturbation? (b) Why does the Bible associate this practice with “covetousness” and “greediness”?

5 The real question, then, is, not how much physical harm could result from masturbation, but whether spiritual harm results. True, the words “masturbation” and “self-abuse” do not appear in the Bible. But what do you understand from the inspired counsel of the apostle Paul at Colossians 3:5? To those not wanting to lose God’s approval, he says: “Deaden [Do not excite], therefore, your body members that are upon the earth as respects fornication, uncleanness, sexual appetite, hurtful desire, and covetousness.” Unlike fornication, masturbation is something a person may do by himself or herself. But does that keep it from being unclean? Or is it also a giving in to, and being dominated by, “sexual appetite”?

6 Then, too, the apostle writes of those who “gave themselves over to loose conduct to work uncleanness of every sort with greediness.” (Ephesians 4:19) In his letter to the Colossians, quoted in the previous paragraph, Paul mentioned “covetousness,” and in this text, “greediness.” Really, masturbation expresses both of these undesirable qualities. How? Well, it is an expression of desiring something that does not rightly belong to one. God has provided marriage as the arrangement in which to satisfy sexual desires. But the person who practices masturbation is, in effect, trying to obtain that satisfaction without paying the price. The price is the assuming and shouldering of the responsibilities that go along with marriage. In this connection note that, when the apostle counseled persons who were ‘inflamed with passion,’ he did not tell them to seek relief through masturbation, but through God’s provision of marriage.​—1 Corinthians 7:2, 9.

7, 8. (a) If masturbation becomes a habit, how can it affect one’s prospects of a happy marriage? (b) Why would it be a mistake to view masturbation as a means to avoid serious violation of God’s law?

7 Actually, masturbation may endanger your future happiness in marriage. If a person is used to satisfying his or her passions through masturbation, this develops the habit of thinking only of one’s own pleasure and satisfaction. But in marriage there is need, especially on the part of the man, to show concern for the other person’s pleasure and satisfaction as well. Otherwise, marital relations deteriorate and there is distress and disillusionment. This very situation​—husbands thinking of their own satisfaction and disregarding their wives’ needs—​is one of the greatest problems in marriage. Much of it stems from a premarital masturbation habit.

8 “But,” some persons might ask, “what if one is too young to make marriage advisable? While postponing marriage, would not masturbation protect one against some worse violation of God’s law, such as fornication or homosexuality?” It might seem so. But is that sound reasoning? No. Masturbation weakens a healthy conscience and love for what is right, the very things that can protect one against such practices. Like drug addiction, masturbation can become something that one resorts to every time he or she feels tension of any kind and lacks the will to face up to and overcome the problems causing such tension. So it can produce a vicious cycle, eventually making a person its slave. But God says we should control our bodies, not let them control us.

HOMOSEXUAL PRACTICES

9-13. (a) How does masturbation sometimes make one vulnerable to homosexual practices? Is anyone born a homosexual? (b) How does God view such practices? (c) Is it possible to break free from them? (Romans 1:24-27; Leviticus 18:22, 23; 1 Corinthians 6:9-11)

9 Weakly giving in to sexual desires by masturbation will certainly not give you strength when faced with a situation tempting you to commit fornication​—or even homosexuality. Just the opposite, it cultivates wrong thinking and wrong desire. In fact, masturbation can lead into homosexuality. In such instances the person, not satisfied with his lonely sexual activity, seeks a partner for mutual sex play.

10 This happens much more frequently than you may realize. Contrary to what many persons think, homosexuals are not born that way, but their homosexual behavior is learned. And often a person gets started when very young by playing with another’s sexual parts, and then engaging in homosexual acts. One young man relates:

11 “When I was young, I had very little parental guidance. I was allowed to go my own way, and do my ‘own thing.’ It was when I was only about eight years old that my older cousins introduced me to homosexual acts. I found these pleasurable, and so continued the practice with them and later with others. Soon it was almost a daily activity. At first I had no realization of doing anything wrong. My parents had not given me any instruction regarding moral conduct, and I never confided in them.

12 “We then lived in a Central American country. Later we moved to New York city, where I finished high school. I also continued homosexual practices. The schools and city are filled with homosexuals, so there were plenty of opportunities. As I grew older I realized that what I was doing was unnatural, and was not right. But I continued because I wanted to. These sex acts had become very enticing to me.”

13 The youth was “hooked” on the practices, and it was only after great effort that he was able to overcome them. What motivated him to change? It was a desire to please Jehovah God. When he understood that God views homosexual acts as “unnatural,” and that He totally disapproves of them, the young man fought these practices until he had conquered them. God’s Word is very clear on this matter, saying: “Make no mistake: no fornicator or idolater, none who are guilty either of adultery or of homosexual perversion . . . will possess the kingdom of God.”​—1 Corinthians 6:9, 10, The New English Bible.

OVERCOMING WITH SELF-CONTROL

14-16. (a) What can be done to keep sexual desires subdued? (Philippians 4:8; 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5) (b) If you feel sexual passion building up, what can you do to get relief? (Psalm 1:1, 2; 63:6, 7)

14 What you think about has a lot to do with the way you feel and the things you do. So what do you really want? Do you want to feel disturbed by sexual desire most of the time, habitually masturbating, and perhaps even slipping into homosexual practices? This can happen if you let your mind dwell on sexual matters. But if you want to keep such sexual urge from cutting into your enjoyment of life and your really accomplishing worthwhile things, then exercise self-control and turn your mind to other matters.

15 When pictures, reading matter or other things containing sexually stimulating material come your way, do not weakly give in. If you let your mind dwell on such things or engage in conversation that revolves around them, you will pay the consequences in feeling upset and in the building up of pressure within yourself. That is because the longer you look at or talk about such things the deeper your heart becomes involved. And your heart is a major factor in moving you to act.

16 But what if, under even ordinary circumstances, you feel passion building up within you? How can you find relief? Not by resorting to masturbation, but by getting your mind, heart and body onto another track. You can do some work, engage in physical exercise, play a game or go for a walk. It is good to find someone to talk to who has your respect, even call someone like that on the phone if necessary. Reading​—even aloud—​the Bible or publications explaining the Bible is one of the finest helps. And, above all, take the problem to your heavenly Father, Jehovah God, in prayer.

17-20. (a) How might adjustments in one’s habits in relation to sleep, eating and hygiene be helpful? (b) Even if a person is having a hard struggle to do what is right, why should he not feel that his situation is hopeless? (Psalm 103:13, 14)

17 There are, of course, many additional things of a simple and sensible nature that one can do to help to avoid or reduce sexual tension. Being with others​—provided, of course, that they are wholesome persons—​is a protection. If you sleep in a room alone and you find that you seem to feel special stress in this direction at night, you may be able to arrange matters to share a room with another member of your family. Also, you may find it helpful to sleep on your side rather than on your back or face down.

18 Another thing that may be helpful is to see to it that your clothing does not unnecessarily cause friction with the sexual organs. Before retiring, try to see that what you read or talk about has a calming effect rather than the opposite. So, too, with any eating that you do at this time. Some have even found that if they limit the amount of food and drink they consume before retiring they sleep more soundly and are not so inclined to be aroused sexually. And especially important is good masculine or feminine hygiene. Lack of cleanliness can produce irritation of the genital organs and pull one’s attention in that direction. You can inquire of your parents for information on such matters of personal hygiene.

19 Proper hygiene calls for certain handling of the sex organs, and one might feel that this would be a temptation to misuse them. But because your motive is right​—with the aim of avoiding sexual tension—​you may well find that such care will instead help you to take a more healthful view toward these organs. You will appreciate that they were never meant to ‘take you over’ and rule your whole life.

20 If you are now fighting the practice of masturbation, remember: You are certainly not the first or the only one who has faced this problem. Even though you find yourself having a hard struggle to break a masturbation habit, never feel that Jehovah God and his Son Jesus Christ have given up on you. If you sincerely keep working to overcome it, they will kindly and patiently help you to build up the needed strength so that you come off victorious.

[Blurb on page 39]

Are homosexuals born that way, or is their behavior learned?

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Does what you read matter?

Caring for Yourself Physically

Chapter 6

Caring for Yourself Physically

1, 2. In what ways is the human body a real masterpiece?

THE wise man Solomon likened the human body to a house with windows and doors. Centuries later, the Christian apostle Paul called it “this dwelling house.” (Ecclesiastes 12:3-7; 2 Corinthians 5:1, 2) Like a house, your body needs proper care if you are to get full benefit from it.

2 What kind of housekeeper are you when it comes to caring for yourself physically? Do you appreciate the body you have? You should, for the human body is truly a masterpiece among all earth’s creations. Your body is more complex than any computer or mechanical device ever invented. Yet it is smooth-working, wonderfully efficient and extremely flexible. It is staggering to think how all the bones, muscles, blood vessels, the network of nerve systems, plus all the other organs and parts of the human organism, function together harmoniously as one unit. As the apostle Paul wrote, though having many members, “the body is one.” We do well to remember that and to realize also the truth of his statement that, “if one member suffers, all the other members suffer with it.” Yes, despite its billions of cells, the body is a unit. If you want to get the best out of your youth and your whole life, you cannot afford to neglect any part of your body.​—1 Corinthians 12:12, 14-26.

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